Saturday, 26 March 2016

26 March 2016



Well they say that one good turn deserves another. I stopped to offer a lady a lift the other day, but my gallantry was somewhat regretfully declined. “Much as I would love a ride in your beautiful car, I am about to get into my own car over there and go shopping”.   I drove on with a smile and, half a mile later,  I ran out of  petrol.      

Well there are stories about cads using this ploy to seduce young ladies, but I’m not a cad and the nearest young lady, that same young lady who declined my lift,  was in her own car - thank goodness, because she stopped to see if I needed assistance. Off she went with my petrol can (why was it empty you ask) and returned with 5 litres of essence. A Samaritan(ess) of the first order.
   What a silly place to put the car petrol gauge - on the tank, under the boot floor and carpet! Rather like having the temperature gauge on the engine block.
    A similar story (the cad bit anyway) came to my notice yesterday. A nun hailed a cab and as they drove along she could not help noticing that the cabby was good looking and was staring at her in his mirror. When she asked why he replied that his greatest fantasy would be to kiss a nun. “Well you would have to be single and Catholic” said the nun.  “Yes, yes” he replied eagerly and they pulled into a side street, where the nun gave him a kiss that would have done credit to a lady of the night. As they drove on the cabby started crying and confessed that he was married and Jewish.   
 The nun said “That’s OK, my name’s Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party”.
Poop. Poop.

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